Right first of all when you meet an emotional control freak, know that this person is being a bully. Forget the excuses this person can give as there is probably at least one reason for that uncouth behaviour for every event that occurs. But is this person to be feared? Absolutely not. Giving in to fear will encourage him or her to do more harm. You will only be in charge of your own situation when you are in emotional control of any situation this control freak can muster.
The Need To Control Everything
Often, this behaviour stems from extreme insecurity of the self. Just imagine, meeting someone who thinks this must be this way or that and anyone who moves an item to position ‘A’ must be moved to position ‘B’ because you moved it. Nothing is satisfactory. Yes, I know, I’ve worked with dozens of people like this. Too often, they were also placed in charge. They are operating out of the sheer fear of making errors. They have a mistaken assumption that pushing people around is synonymous with being the “BOSS”. Others also operate with hyper inflated egos.
All that hot air eventually comes crashing down with sudden deflation. They may bite off more than they can chew and explode as everything overwhelms their emotions. Sudden failure results. Then you may watch a very different but curious situation as the control freak slowly but surely deflates and often self destructs. The need to hold on to everything so tightly that it is choked to death is not my idea of good leadership.
Productivity is diminished to only one person’s point of view. All other vantage points are summarily put down out of the mistaken fear of losing authority. Then he wonders why no one trusts him and he has no friends to speak of, except for the rare person who tries to allow them the time to change. However, because this controlling behaviour has the potential to be so damaging, it should be taken to task as soon as possible.
Fear Is The Bully
There is really no such thing as a cure for a person behaving in such a controlling manner. Fear is like that dangerously seductive mistress. Do as she bids you or else something dire might happen. But step back a moment and realise that such threats are just that. Threats really hold no more power than what may go on in one’s head that gives rise to worry. Nothing has yet to happen. Once this is realised, fear simply cannot live within that freedom to think.
Notice that the control freak uses bullying tactics that are actually to instil fear in anyone and everyone? And if you and your co-workers find yourself in such a situation with a supervisor, just observe the bully’s behaviour when faced with the company boss. That bully is likely suddenly totally subservient! It may seem very odd that you can be in cordial terms with the company boss but the bully, who is your ‘superior’ fears him? Yes, a bully fears anyone who does not fear him (just using ‘him’ for ease of writing)…
Personally, I do not ever tolerate bullying of any kind. It’s up to you, but I will take such situations up with the boss. If this occurs in a police department, I will talk to the super in charge. A school bully should be similarly dealt with. The main reason is this. How many people have been disadvantaged or hurt by this person? Also, you should realise that sometimes such situations are placed before you to test you as some people will say of god. It’s true, as you strive for self growth, you will be tested and take this as an opportunity to help yourself deal with situations to get stronger emotionally. Oh, yes, and I don’t mean getting into a battle royale or fight at all. It pays to aim for an amicable settlement. You’ll make many friends this way.