Beautiful Feeling of Emotional Freedom

Emotional Uncertainty

As I walked past this individual, let’s call him Henry, I felt a significant difference. At first I could not understand what had just happened. I had this beautiful feeling of emotional freedom. But this much I knew. Today I felt excellent, really feeling good about myself. I felt a sense of personal completeness and no longer afraid of what Henry might say or even think. If only so many people I knew can feel the way I felt at that moment. “I am emotionally secure”, I declare.

You see, if you had been living in the shadows as I had you would really enjoy this feeling of freedom. Immense fear had been drummed into my very being from childhood. It seemed my life at so young an age would be one of slavery. I was dominated and abused endlessly. The individual I casually named Henry was a stranger who reminded me of someone to fear. Call it a habit or a simple subjugated life of fear. For a very long time I did not know peace, love, joy and happiness. I could not see that anything else could exist except looking at my muddy bare feet.

But time went on and determined self growth can work wonders, even for a person who has lived a past like me. It is easy for me to say now that this was my own creation, my own projection of what other people may feel about me. Oh, and about Henry.

The Feeling About Henry

What happened that day when I encountered Henry was that I no longer feared what he might have said or thought about me. In fact, who knows? He might have been a truly nice chap. You see, my nature had always been overly concerned about people’s feelings and how they might react around me. It was my emotional insecurity. Because of this, I always appeared subservient and allowed many unscrupulous types to take advantage of me. I’d berate myself after that. But I experienced something else instead; something elating.

I felt a great relief, this shift into joy. Is this the experience of being in heaven while on earth?

Regretful Memories Long Past

It took only a matter seconds to walk by Henry and to experience all these emotions, feelings and memories that I am recounting to you now.

Growing up I had this heaviness, always worried about my now late parents. Simply hearing my father’s footsteps sent up shivers, goose bumps, knots in my stomach and more often than not paralyzes my breathing. It didn’t matter how much I did for him. He always found ways to criticize and blame me. Anger was his first nature, he responded to everything and everyone with anger. Using the power of fear, he dominated everyone through his display of fearsome anger.

Now, dear mother, no matter what I did, it was never good enough. She also found ways to dump all of her anger, frustration, and oppressed behaviour on to me. I felt sorry for her difficult living condition and tried to protect her. I took on her responsibilities and all her emotional pain. And of course, that just made matters worse for us.

So many children often vow to protect their parents no matter at what cost.

If that wasn’t bad enough, our late father had another wife, who was extremely cruel. She was always adding fuel to the fire even if she had to invent incredulous stories (lies) about mother, my brothers and me. I lived in terror, always trying to please her, dote on her even with or because of her lies. I hoped appeasing the old tartar would ease her pressure on my parents. All my effort got me was to turn me into her eternal slave.

Remember, I was just a young girl then; just a child. Everyone seemed so big and almighty. They were so powerful, dominating me with a simple glance or a few words. For many years, everyone else was just like Henry might have been.

My Emotional Freedom and All Grown Up With Personal Development

Henry was just really my confirmation that I have achieved emotional freedom as I have been working on for many years. Looking back this is one of the many confirmations of what I have desired and expected of life. It wasn’t too long ago that I figured that I was all grown up and they should no longer be tormenting me. As is with emotional states, long after the people or events in question have left you, the experiences remain with you through your development.

Neurons, in built habits, triggers, emotional turmoil are some of the factors that we cannot let go of old response to a new situation. However, since we know this, bad habits can all be reversed, neurons can be retrained, love, joy, success can all be retrained. First, I realized my lot in life then was most despicable and turned my back to it. It did not take a rocket scientist to tell me what I wanted in life. My desires kept me going despite obstacles, which I now recognize as learning directions. I am thankful now for what I did not want as it clearly redirected me to everything I love to do and have more of.

My deliberate journey through personal development is my salvation.

It is easy to say we created everything we are receiving. That is until and unless we realize who we are, what has been happening and how we can re-create our life. Then nothing stands in the way of building a new SELF based on love, compassion, love and kindness. It is a state of body, mind and soul in harmony. Realize you have the will and the power. YOU have the key to Freedom.