If you’re feeling insecure, it has likely come at you in the form of a question. This insecurity can appear to you quite insidiously slowly to catch you unawares until you realise too late you feel scared. Alternatively it comes rushing to overwhelm you. Remember the time you were expected to come up with the perfect answers in an open quiz or perhaps you were in a car crash and lost your sense of what to do next. To the extremes, it can be a deadly situation. Just ask a soldier who has been out in the battle field what can happen.
This feeling that unleashes a million butterflies in your middle stems from the emotions that form an apparently undefeatable symphony. They are called fear, guilt and doubt. They are those useless, energy sapping emotions that everyone has lived through. Yet, why do they have the power to rule our lives? It’s fine and dandy for those psycho-something pros to tell you to overcome your fears, guilt and doubt. I can very well tell you that it is easier said than done when you are at a loss for your next step.
But how does one destroy those emotions that lead to this feeling? I most certainly loathe it when it comes. The answer will surprise you as much as it did to me. Treat like you are dealing with an attack of anger. Take a deep breath and count slowly as you settle your mind and emotions. You can count to five or ten, it’s up to you. What you are really doing is to bring yourself into a mild meditative state therapists call “alpha”. Your brain waves are now generating more alpha waves than beta waves. This has a significant calming effect and you’re suddenly thinking clearly. Courage comes because you seem to suddenly know what you are able to do! How cool is that?
10 Things That Cause Feelings of Insecurity
This exercise is simple but requires practice to be highly accomplished like the heroes in the movies as they stay cool under the most intense life pressures. Here are some of the “insecurities” that a group of 10 people had quickly said always made them insecure on a daily basis.
1) I’m going to be late for work in this traffic. I hope my boss won’t take it out on me.
2) I don’t have time to study for my exam. I’m going to fail it.
3) I can’t get enough people for my business. How will I ever pay my lease?
4) Oh, God! I got into a car crash. I don’t know what to do. Will the insurance cover it? Will I get a fine or be charged?
5) I’m afraid to go for a holiday in Brazil. I’m so afraid of being robbed.
6) I hope my son does not get sick. It’s so cold and rainy today.
7) I’m going to be home late in this traffic. I hope my kids won’t be too hungry. I hope my husband won’t get mad at me.
8) If I can’t make the payroll this month, I’m going to go bankrupt. It’s been this way for the last 3 years!
9) I’m never going to get that lease for the BMW I have my eye on. That’s why I’ve never even tried to go to the showroom to see it.
This last one was the most amazing. The change was also the most spectacular!
10) I’m getting sick. I’m getting old. I’m getting weak. I’m losing my hair. I’m losing my friends. I’m going mad.
Using the going into alpha exercise, all of them said they could go from “I can’t do it. Things are too bad!” to “So, what? I can do it. Everything will be fine.” They even smiled. Now it’s your turn. fTry it and see what you can accomplish for your emotional freedom.