“Smile” he said with a smile. A friend in severe pain and close to returning to his maker so long ago told me to smile because it made his day. Smile and sun will shine with you.
With a Heavy Heart
With a heavy heart, it’s so difficult to smile at jokes, much less to strangers. From a distance I watched this young lady who must have experienced some tragedy recently. It stirred memories from so long ago. She sat quietly, on a park bench in sullen solitude. It was as though a huge dark ominous cloud rode over her head. The sun shone but there’s that shadow cast upon that young figure.
The heavy heart weighs upon the whole body like so many tons of extra weight. The lips hang at the tips. The shoulders slouch. The whole aura drives the message to go away. The feeling of sorrow went out to that young lady. But, I don’t want to feel bad anymore. I’ve had enough of it. I want to smile like it is my nature.
It’s natural to smile and be happy. Just observe a child the next time you have the chance. Kids just are naturally predisposed to be happy. Their soul and nature is to play, run, have fun and smile. Their laughter permeates and one can’t help but smile right back.
A baby looks at you with their inimitable eye contact and often smile at you. Once that happens, tell me you don’t smile right back. Of course you do. It’s just natural. In fact go to a doctor’s office full of grouchy folks full of self pity. Their focus is on pain. But enter a little one who is all smiles and the whole waiting rom lights up. Often the nurses are the ones getting in on the act too. They know that will always bring the focus back on feeling better.
Meet a person with a natural smile and you’ll be chatting with him or her all night. People who smile alot smile with their personality. Notice their eyes, shoulders and their overall body language and energy exudes “Hey, I’m smiling at you. Smile back!” Just like anger can drive you away, the great smile can draw you closer. You’ll warm up to such a warm personality. The smile gives the feeling of a giving personality.
When you meet a stranger, smile. Take a walk in the park and smile at the people walking by you. If they do not return the smile, smile to yourself knowing you are happy and they are not quite at that point yet. Give your business competitors a smile. The traffic cop need one of those too. And most important of all bring that smile home and spread it around liberally.
The Anger and the Smile
So, why is it we so often remain angry just to avoid smiling? Psychologists have said it time and again that anger itself can be intoxicating. It’s an addiction to pain which the mind repeats over and over. In time, the intensity of those thoughts and behaviour build ups tremendous amounts of neurons that it is a habit of major proportions.
Anger becomes the habit. Any event which may solicit other feelings or behaviours are often met with the transformation into an angry response. I’m sure you know people like that. Anything that you say or do sets off a tremoundous angry response like a knee jerk reaction. It is a sort of hell being near such a person.
But then, one day, after many years of great effort rebuilding new neurons this angry person manages a genuine smile at you! Can you imagine the shock and even horror because you’re not sure if you’re going to get bitten? No, it’s true, smiles can appear and then change a personality permanently.
I can tell you conclusively that smiling is such a fantastic relief for anyone and everyone. When a person with angry behaviour starts to engage you with smiles, smiles and more smiles, you will be totally disarmed and enamoured with him or her.
Dale Carnegie encouraged people to use their smile as the very first weapon in your arsenal to make a great first impression. Smile much more right from the heart. And that, ladies and gentlemen is the very first step in the quest for a successful life.